Blindly At the Day
by Bluehaven4220
Summary: <html><head></head>The day Maggie Chisholm walked into Brian MacKenzie's life was the day the would changed forever</html>
1. The River Driver

**Title: Blindly At the Day**

**Author: Bluehaven4220**

**Summary: The day Maggie Chisholm walked into Brian MacKenzie's life was the day the world changed forever.**

**A/N: This story is a parallel to 'Cat's Cradle'. What if things hadn't worked out between Sergeant Benton and Maggie? In this story, Jamie was never arrested, and he and Bridget are raising their family close by Maggie's parents, Cora and Gordon. Maggie and her family are my creations, please ask before using for your own devices. Enjoy! And please feel free to leave a review, the door is always open**

**ooOoo**

_I'll build a lonesome castle upon some mountain high, where she can view me, as I go passing by. Where she can sit and view me, as I go marching on, for I'm a river driver and I'm far away from home_

_The River Driver- Great Big Sea_

**ooOoo**

Good riddance to bad rubbish, she thought as she loaded the last of her things into the TARDIS. She wanted nothing more than to take her children and get the hell out of England. The Doctor was less than thrilled that she would be leaving (he always said he really did like her and thought the world of her), but he assured her he did not bear her any ill-will.

Once they'd gotten the children settled, the Doctor put the TARDIS in flight, and, in what seemed like no time at all, they had landed. She'd honestly forgotten how short trips in the TARDIS could be, even if they were traveling hundreds of years into the past or to other planets.

She very slowly opened the TARDIS door to see the house where she had grown up, and, to her surprise, her mother and father working outside.

She went back inside, asking the Doctor to watch the babies for a few minutes, just until she'd made herself known. Once he'd agreed, she went back outside, and began what she was sure would be the longest walk of her entire life

**ooOoo**

Cora Chisholm bent over the vegetable patch, spreading yet another row of seeds in hopes that it would yield something, anything. But it was really hopeless to try. They'd not had a successful vegetable harvest in quite a while.

But something… something that day made her turn around.

"Maggie?"

Maggie smiled, nodding.

Cora could barely believe it. She looked so much older, and tired, but relieved. She looked relieved. Where had she been? What had she been doing? And why the hell wasn't her tongue working?

"Mama…"

"Oh my God!" Cora swept her daughter into a hug. "Oh my God, you're safe! Blessed Michael, you're safe! What happened?"

"I have a surprise for you and Daddy, Mama."

"Surprise? What sort of surprise? Having you back is surprise enough." Her feet seemed glued to the ground as Maggie walked toward the strange blue box Cora was sure she'd seen before, and return just as quickly.

But this time she had something in her arms. Make that two somethings.

"Mum…" Maggie breathed as she jostled the two bundles in her arms. "I'd like you to meet Claire," she motioned to her left arm, "and Ian."

Cora's mouth fell open.

"Your grandbabies."

"I…" Cora nearly choked. "Grandbabies? I… I'm a grannie?"

"Aye…"

"But… but… when did this happen?"

Maggie bit her cheek in concentration. "About six months ago."

"With whom?"

"We shall never speak his name again."

"Why? Did he hurt ye?"

"Yes. Yes he did. That's why I left," Maggie shook her head. "But never mind that now. Would you like to hold one of your grandchildren?"

"Aye, I would love to!" Cora reached for the baby cradled in Maggie's left arm. "And who's this handsome boy?"

"I already said that's Ian, Mum."

Cora settled the baby against her chest. "Oh you are so handsome, Boo Boo."

"Did you just call him Boo Boo?" Maggie laughed as she savoured the feeling of one less baby in her arms.

"Aye, do ye have a problem wi' that?"

"No, why should I?" Maggie laughed. "Oh Mum, I can't tell you just how happy I am to see you. I missed you so much."

Cora smiled, turning back toward the house with her grandson in her arms. "Your father's going to be knocked off his feet. He's missed you something terrible, what since Ben's a priest now. Ye should go t' see him."

"Why? Have I committed some sin?"

Cora laughed. "No, but ye should go t' see him. Let him know ye have children. He'd be happy for ye. He might christen them, if you were to ask."

Maggie rolled her eyes just as Claire sneezed and spit up, sending the little girl into a crying fit.

"Oh no," Maggie grit her teeth. "Alright, honey, you're okay. Just a little bit of sicky tummy. You're okay…" Wiping Claire's mouth, she bounced her daughter in her arms, whispering a lullaby under her breath.

"Here…" Cora set Ian down on the settee and reached for Claire.

Maggie had never seen such a transformation. Once the baby had been handed to her grandmother, she quieted herself. Smiling and gurgling, she sneezed again.

"Oh bless you!" Cora cooed at the baby. "Now what has your mummy been feeding you, hmm? For you to have such a sicky tummy?"

"Mum!" Maggie's eyes filled with tears as she held Ian close. "I haven't done anything wrong. Both the bairns took to my breast. I'm just starting to wean them." A stray tear rolled down her face. "I'm so sorry, Mum. I didn't mean to spring this on you. Just showing up back home wi' two bairns t' feed an' no husband…"

Seeing Maggie in such pain was enough to have Cora suggest they put the babies down on the floor, allow them to crawl around for a while, and they could talk. But first, tea. Tea always helped, she knew. She'd hidden as much as possible, and kept it for occasions such as this.

As Ian and Claire crawled about, mother and daughter sat on the couch together.

"Now, what's happened, love? Can ye tell me why ye're so sad?"

"Because I'm alone, Mum," Maggie sobbed. "The Doctor brought me back here because I need you. I need you and Dad. I can't do it on my own."

Cora swept her daughter into a hug. "Dinna fash. Yer father and I would never turn ye away. Doesna matter if ye were married when ye had the bairns, they're still our blood."

"But…"

"But?"

"Ye don't think that makes me a selfish whore?"

"No, not at all. You truly loved the man, aye?"

"Aye, I did."

"And he dinna force himself on ye, did he?"

"No, he didna force me into anything."

"An' he was the one that was untrue t' ye, aye?"

"Aye, about seven or eight others, he said.'

"That doesna make ye a whore or selfish." Cora wiped a tear from her daughter's cheek. "You were true t' him, ye bore him two children, and _he_ threw that away. Not you, ye ken?'

"But..."

"But what?"

"But why do I feel like the one that did something wrong?"

'Because he took summat from you that wasna his t' take. You trusted him, and he betrayed you. It's what everyone feels when they've been wronged like you have. They all say the same thing. 'What's wrong with me?'. There is nothing wrong wi' you. It's him.'

Maggie couldn't stop the tears as Cora held her, rocking her as though she were a little girl. She was so upset, unsure of where she was and what she was going to do that she didn't even notice Claire crawl outside.

**ooOoo**

Brian MacKenzie shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck, exhausted from the day. He'd been on loan to Cora and Gordon from Jamie for a week or so, just until the three mares had their foals. Not that he minded, really. Whatever work he could get, he would take. More money that way. Not that there was much to go around, but every little bit counted.

And just as he got close to the house, he noticed out of the corner of his eye. A small child by the herb shed. Curious, he went over and bent down to look at the baby.

She was very small, but at the same time very curious. She turned around to stare at him, a clump of dirt clenched in her pudgy fist.

"Dis?" she asked him.

"What's that?" he smiled, holding out his hand. "Can I see it, lassie?"

Smiling at him, she deposited the dirt in his hand.

"That's dirt," he told her, letting it fall out of his hand and wiping his palm on his breeks. "Yer too little t' be out here alone. Where's yer mummy?"

Claire looked at him sideways, and blew a raspberry at him.

"Oh now, aren't _we_ rude?" he smirked, picking the little girl up.

"Claire?" he heard a frantic cry. "Claire, where are ye?"

"Are they lookin' for you, sweetheart?" he cooed to the baby cradled in his arm. "Are you Claire?"

She babbled at him, sneezed, and promptly giggled.

"I'll take that as a yes. Come on, ye wee ragamuffin, let's go find your mummy…"

Brian set off to the house with Claire in his arms, and knocked on the open front door. He waited until a young woman with the most beautiful brown eyes he had ever seen noticed him, eyes red and a frantic expression written all over her face.

"Excuse me, I believe yer looking for this wee munchkin? "

He saw the young woman's eyes grow wide. "Claire!" she quickly scooped the baby out of the man's arms and cuddled her daughter close. "Thank you so much, sir! Where did you find her?"

"Over by the herb shed, ma'am."

The woman's mouth dropped open. "I dinna ken how she got over there…" she turned away from him, her eyes now huge. "Ian! What are ye doing, ye wee rascal?"

Brian almost had enough good sense to turn around and go back to the barn, but something told him to stay.

"Won't you come in?" she asked as she balanced Claire on one arm while maneuvering another child, this time a little boy who looked about the same age, away from the unlit fireplace. Pulling the soot covered child away and sitting down on the couch, she settled the two babies on her lap. "I'm so sorry I don't even have the kettle boiling. I'd offer you a cup of tea if I did. You must be exhausted…"

He smirked.

"What?" she asked him as Ian pulled on her hair. "Ow! Ian, let go of Mummy's hair."

Brian fought the urge to laugh. She was obviously a frazzled young mum struggling to get her children under control, and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. Unless…

"Here, let me hold him, and then ye've got one arm free t' get Claire cleaned up."

He saw her breathe a sigh of relief. "Oh thank you, Mr…"

"M' name's Brian."

"Brian," she acknowledged the consent he'd given her to use his first name. "My name's Maggie."

"Pleased t' meet you, Maggie. Ye said this wee one's name is Ian?" he bounced the little boy on his knee just as Ian let out an irritated squeal.

"Aye, he's Ian, though I probably should have named him healthy little terror. God, what a strange name…." she pondered as she went to get Claire into some clean clothes.

Brian chuckled, turning Ian around on his knee to face him.

"Well now, young Ian," Brian ran a finger down the boy's tiny nose. "What have ye been doing, playing in the soot in the fireplace and giving yer mother a hard time?"

Ian babbled a response.

"Oh I see," Brian nodded, brushing the dirt off Ian's shirt. "Ye canna be terrorizing yer mother like that, you understand?"

Ian blew a raspberry at him.

"That's the second raspberry I've got from you and yer sister. What is it wi' you two an' blowing raspberries at people? Ye ken that's no very nice."

Babbling again.

"Yeah yeah, ye wee rascal," Brian adjusted the baby's shirt and smiled. "Yer quite handsome. Yer mother's gonna have t' keep you away from the lassies once yer older."

"He's not going near any girls till he's at least seventeen," Maggie giggled as she came back into the room with Claire on her hip. "Is there anything I can do for ye, sir, t' thank ye for bringing my daughter back?"

He smiled to himself. He could ask her to lift her skirts and let him roger her then and there if he so wished. However, a sense of decency, no matter how small, could prevent a man's innermost perverted thoughts from rising to the surface.

"In thanks then, do ye mind if I called on ye again, Maggie? To see how the bairns are doing?"

She smiled. "I'd be quite happy if ye did."

And as he walked away, she told herself she'd be heading over to visit Uncle Jamie the first chance she got, and find out what he knew about this mysterious man named Brian.


	2. Let Love In

**ninewood: Why thank you very very much (smiles). Lots more to come, I promise. And yes, John is a jerk. You want to slap him for me?**

**A/N: There's lots more of Maggie and Brian to come, and I promise there's lots of the Doctor coming up as well. Maggie and Brian just need to be established before I reintroduce the Doctor. He will be coming up soon. And please feel free to leave a review, the door is always open  
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**ooOoo**

_You wait, wanting this world to let you in, and you stand there a frozen light in dark and empty streets. You smile, hiding behind a God-given face. But I know you're so much more, everything they ignore is all that I need to see._

_Let Love In- Goo Goo Dolls_

**ooOoo**

It wasn't for another few days that Maggie was able to get over to her aunt and uncle's with the babies in tow. It was hard enough trying to carry one baby on your hip when trying to get anywhere when you had a stroller, never mind two babies and a stroller not having been invented yet. Still, her mother had managed before her, she'd soon get the hang of it.

Carrying both babies, she kicked on their front door.

Bridget answered, and Maggie saw a huge smile spread across her aunt's face.

"Hi gorgeous!" she cooed, taking Claire from her. "Oh my God, you two are so big now, I don't know how Mummy can carry you!"

"Thanks Auntie," she kissed her aunt hello and went through the doorway. "Is Uncle around? I want t' ask him summat."

"I think he's out with the horses," she answered. "Why? What's happened?"

"Nothing's wrong, Auntie. Don't fret," Maggie assured her, setting Ian down on the floor and watching him crawl around. "I just want to ask him something. Would you watch the babies for me, just for a few minutes?"

"Of course. Now get on with you…" she smirked, turning to follow Ian around the living area as Maggie went out the door to the stables.

She waited by the stable door until he finished mucking out, smiled, and went to hug him.

"Yer sure ye want t' hug me? I smell like horse shit."

"Oh it's not that bad," she insisted as he draped an arm around her shoulder.

"Now, what's troubling ye?"

She cleared her throat. "What do ye ken o' Brian MacKenzie?"

"The groom I sent to yer mum and dad till the foals are born?"

"Aye, I met him the other day. He found Claire for me when she wandered off. Was ready t' pull my hair out till all of a sudden there he is holding my baby like she's none the worse for wear."

Jamie's eyes went wide as they walked together. "Where did he find her?"

"She'd crawled over to the herb shed and was playing in the dirt happy as a clam."

"A little dirt never hurt anyone, ye ken."

"Aye, I know, but that's not what I'm talking about. What do ye ken of Brian MacKenzie?"

Jamie let out a breath. "He's a hard worker. Great w' the horses, and he obviously gets on quite well with everyone. It's no everyday he would be walking back and bring a babe back to their mother. Was Claire upset while he had her?"

"No, she seemed quite happy. I think he said she was blowing him a raspberry."

"She blew a piece of berry at him? I thought she couldna chew foods like that yet."

" No Uncle, I mean she did this…" Maggie stuck her tongue between her teeth and demonstrated exactly what a raspberry was.

Jamie laughed. "Why are ye asking me this? Yer no thinking o' going to bed with him?"

"No, not at all. I just want to know what you think of him. And whether or not he'd be good to have the babies around. He wants t' come back and check in on them."

"Why?"

"I asked what I could do in thanks for him finding Claire, an' he asked if he could look in on them, just to see how they're doing…"

"Seems reasonable."

"Aye, but I wanted t' know if he's a good man. Can I let him round my children without having t' worry."

"In truth my dear, I think you're more in danger of him asking you to lift your skirts than you are of having him hurt either Claire or Ian. I dinna pretend t' know what he's like in that way, but I dinna think he'd harm you."

Maggie nodded. Good, at least she knew what she'd be in for now. And truth be told, Brian MacKenzie was a very handsome man. He had the bluest eyes she'd ever seen, and shaggy brown hair that just reached past his neck. From what she'd seen of him as he'd been sitting in the living room with Ian, he was very well built, with well- defined muscles and features. He also had very kind eyes, she noticed. It had been awhile since she'd seen such kind eyes in a man.

And frankly, if he did want her to lift her skirts, she couldn't guarantee she'd say no.

**ooOoo**

The two of them went back to the house to find Bridget sitting on the floor reading, the twins quite happily asleep on the floor by her sides.

"Seems you're a great pillow, Auntie. I usually have to fight t' get them t' sleep."

"Oh I don't mind," Bridget answered. "Alex and Carol reckon they're too big for cuddles, though I'm sure your children are not so affected."

"Not yet they're not," she bent down and sat down exactly opposite from her auntie. "Though I'm sure they'll hate me once they get older. I took them away from everything they knew and brought them back here to the most unfamiliar environment they could imagine."

"Well you were in love with their father, weren't you? And he treated you badly."

Maggie nodded in defeat, wondering how many times people would have to pick apart her love life until they found the answer they were looking for.

"And being in love does not mean you have to put up with shit," Bridget insisted. "You did the right thing in getting out of that situation. They'll never begrudge you that. And when they get older, tell them that their father was not ready to be a father, and that he moved away."

Jamie cocked an eyebrow at his wife. It was as good a solution as any for the time being, even if Maggie did not marry later. Although, whoever this bastard was, from what he'd heard from Cora and what he understood from Maggie's side of the story, what he wouldn't give to have the little shit under his roof. Give him an excuse to rip the man's innards out and wear them for garters.

"Tell me love, how was the labour with them?"

"Bridget, do ye have to hear this now? I'm still in the room ye ken."

"You're more than happy to participate in the making of the babies but you're too squeamish to hear about how tough the labour was? And here I thought you were a seasoned farm boy."

"Sure, but I dinna want t' hear about my niece giving birth. May be natural but that's not for me t' hear."

"Well then you can go away if it doesn't interest you," Bridget told him. "Spend some time with Claire and Ian. I'm sure they can't wait to climb all over their Nunkie."

**ooOoo**

Damn it, why now? Why would the mare be having the foal now? Was she further along than they thought? That would be the only reasonable explanation, but then again, Mother Nature was never reasonable. Just like fate. Fate wasn't reasonable in dropping Maggie in his life either. Never mind that she was a frazzled young mother with two babies to raise on her own, he couldn't stop thinking about her. What the hell was going on with this?

Brian re-emerged from the barn an hour later to see Maggie and Bridget on the other side of the paddock, each of them holding one baby. He couldn't tell who was holding which twin, but they seemed to be having a very detailed conversation about any and all things. He said nothing, leaning on the fence, watching Maggie's lips move. She had gorgeous lips, he noticed. Full and soft. What he wouldn't give just to kiss her once…

"What's that, Ian?" Maggie clicked her tongue as one of the stable geldings came to say hello. "Is that a horse? Can you say horse?"

He blew a raspberry in response.

"What are you blowing raspberries at me for, you silly gob?" she chided. "Here…" she gently took hold of her son's wrist, guiding his hand up to the horse's nose and allowing his fingers to gently stroke. "See? Isn't he soft?"

Ian's eyes went wide, staring at his mother in disbelief, still allowing her to guide his hand.

"Yeah, he's soft…" she let go of Ian's hand, at which point he landed a quick and aggressive pat on the animal's nose, startling the horse slightly. "Oh, oh, gentle, _mo cridhe_. Gentle pats…"

"Seems your Claire likes horses too, Maggie," he heard Bridget tell her, bouncing the baby girl in her arms

"Does she? Well God help them when they're six and telling me that all they want for their birthday is a pony and how they'll nae ask for anything again, which I know they will. No one is happy wi' just a pony in life."

Brian resisted the urge to laugh. She was right. They'd be wanting to ride and play with the horses and soon as they learned to walk, and if she wanted his help, he'd be glad to give it. After all, he could see she was struggling.

"I've got a thing t' tell ye Auntie, but I think it'll have t' wait till I put the twins down to sleep for a bit. Can ye spare a few minutes?" Apparently Maggie didn't like asking anyone for help, he'd heard, and was stubborn as all hell about having someone help her with her children even now. No one really knew what had happened between her and the babies' father, simply because she hadn't said anything about it. In truth, if she did, the entire town would know it within a few weeks. News and gossip traveled quickly in the Highlands, you could be sure of that.

"Aye, I can. Oh look at that, I'm talking like your uncle again. Must stop doing that."

Now was as good a time as any.

"Maggie?" he cleared his throat.

She turned, Ian still clinging to her shirt.

"I wanted t' ask ye if ye would come out to the barn with me for a minute? I want t' ask you something."

**ooOoo**

Maggie raised an eyebrow. Really? He wanted to talk to her _now_? When she had one baby on her hip and the other no doubt needing a fresh nappie? Men, all men, had the absolute worst timing in the goddamn world! If you're _that_ desperate, go tug yourself in the barn. Animals don't care, so long as they don't have to see you.

Against her better judgment, she nodded and handed Ian to Bridget.

"I'll be in soon, aye?"

He saw Bridget nod and give Maggie a smile. "Get on with you, then."

Maggie turned to him and climbed over the paddock fence, landing on her feet and following him into the barn.

"You wanted to talk, so go ahead, talk."

"What happened with the twins' dad?"

Maggie's mouth dropped open. "Pfft, _you're_ direct, aren't you?" she forced her brain to form a coherent sentence. "That's not your business. Now if you'll excuse me…"

He grabbed her arm just as she turned, begging her to wait a minute.

"Don't beg Brian, it's undignified," she said smartly, yanking her arm out of his grip. "I've got children to put to bed. If I wanted you to know what happened, you'd know."

Before he had a chance to stop her, she'd climbed back over the paddock fence and headed back to the house.

She was met with Bridget standing in the sitting room, the twins obviously already changed, fed, and put to bed for a nap.

"You look like a bat out of hell, Maggie. What happened?"

"Don't talk to me, Auntie," she bit out.

"Maggie…" Bridget put a hand on her niece's arm.

"I said don't talk to me!" her voice was raised now. If Bridget didn't clear off soon, she was liable to start shouting, and she didn't want that at all. "I'm an adult, I'm a mother, I can deal with this on my own."

"We all have our breaking points, honey, and it sounds as if you're there…"

Maggie's face contorted, and she let out the most heartbreaking sob Bridget had ever heard.

"Oh sweetie…" Bridget pulled her niece into a tight hug and sat her down on the couch. "Come on, down on the couch, best to let it come out. That's the best way."

Once Maggie had calmed herself enough to accept a handkerchief and blow her nose, Bridget still had no idea what had caused her meltdown. However, it didn't take a genius to guess it might have something to do with the falling out she'd had with Ian and Claire's father. She'd said next to nothing about it since she'd come back, and to keep something like that on your conscience would be like having an elephant sitting on your chest, and she knew that pain. Damn the bastard for putting her through this. Damn him to hell.

"I don't regret my babies, Auntie, I don't. It's just…"

"You regret him."

"Yeah, I do. As much as I hate to admit it, I do. I regret him. I regret everything I ever did with him, everything I ever said to him, everything. The one good thing that came out of that relationship was the twins. That's it. And now I'm here and there's Brian, and he's so sweet and charming, and…"

"You're scared."


	3. Tangled

**ninewood: Good. I'm glad you DID slap him. Jamie still doesn't know who it was that broke Maggie's heart, but he's not going to push her until she's ready (of course we know that's because of Bridget's influence). The Doctor will be back soon, just not sure when. Thank you for the review (smiles).**

**A/N: Alex and Carol are back! Many yays of happiness. This chapter is more of a character study into the workings of their family life, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. And please feel free to leave a review, the door is always open.**

**ooOoo**

_I remember our bodies lying tangled in the sheets. I remember when love used to be so sweet. Now the only thing that's mixed up, is the way I feel inside. We're pushing, pulling, we're twisting, shouting. I never thought I'd feel this doubting._

_Tangled- Jane Wiedlin _

**ooOoo**

Maggie almost couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I'm not scared!"

Almost as soon as those words came out of her mouth she realized just how juvenile she sounded.

"Oh God, I sound like a twelve year old child."

"No you don't. You sound like a frazzled young mum whose had too much put on her plate too soon, and you're at your wit's end." Bridget kissed her temple. "Being a new mum is stressful, it always is, and you're doing a great job. Sometimes you're overwhelmed, that happens, and I think that's what's happened here."

Maggie took a deep breath.

"I just… I…"

"It's alright, honey," Bridget held her niece close. "It's alright. Sometimes our bodies just say enough. Enough, I cannot do this anymore, and I need to cry, and that's okay."

Jamie, being a man and having the worst possible timing in the entire world, chose that precise moment to come in from outside, covered in dirt.

"What's he done, then?"

"Why do you always think it's someone else's fault?" Maggie got up and turned to him. "Did ye ever think it may just be me who's bollocksed everything up? Why not ask me why I'm upset than just asking what _he_ did, hmm? Why not!"

"Maggie…" Jamie started, utterly bewildered at what he'd done to cause such a reaction.

"Just fuck off!" And with that, she felt her entire body turn to jelly and her legs give out. Holding her head in her hands, she willed the tears away, hoping that neither Jamie nor Bridget would come near her.

At precisely that moment, there was a knock at the door.

"Sorry, should I come back?"

_Why? Why are you here now?_

"No no," Maggie wiped her eyes and composed herself before standing up. Crossing her arms over her chest, she looked him in the eye. "I'm sorry Brian."

"I came t' apologize t' you," he answered. "It wasna my place to ask you about what happened between you and the twins' father, I didna realize it was such a bad time."

"You heard that?"

"Yer Scots, Maggie, which means yer loud, and the door was open."

She rolled her eyes.

"Aye, yer right. I'm sorry at any rate. Anyway, would ye like t' come in?"

Brian looked over Maggie's head and looked to both Jamie and Bridget, who both nodded their approval. They both moved toward the hearth and watched the two of them, watched as Brian moved to grasp Maggie's hand, watched as Maggie gasped at the contact, the little spark of electricity that ran through her hand and up her arm, watched as he leaned in to whisper something in her ear.

"Come on, Jamie, we should go outside, see how the kids are coming along…"

And as they left and closed the front door, Maggie let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

**ooOoo**

Maggie forced her mouth to close as she considered what Brian had just said. He wanted what?

"But I…"

"Ye dinna have to answer that now, ye ken. It's only a suggestion."

"Tell me why you want to court me, Brian," she asked. "You barely know me, and I've got two kids. I dinna have the time or the extra energy. They dinna have their father, I've got t' earn what I can t' provide for them."

"Because I like ye," he admitted, as though the words physically hurt him. "I ken you've got two kids, and I want t' help ye."

She still wasn't convinced. Why would anyone, least of all a groomsman who worked for her family, who likely _had_ no other family, and who was likely several years older than her? Jamie hadn't been much help, not his fault, bless him, and Brian didn't _seem_ threatening.

But they never did, did they?

"Convince Jamie and Bridget, and then I'll consider it."

Brian's mouth dropped open.

"Challenge accepted, Miss Chisholm."

Maggie smiled. It had been a very long time since someone had referred to her by her maiden name, and truth be told she'd started to miss it.

**ooOoo**

Bridget could see the vein in Jamie's neck throbbing. Whatever it was that was bothering him, more than likely the fact that Brian MacKenzie, groom, was whispering in his niece's ear, and he didn't take kindly to someone getting close to her, especially with her having two young children.

"Jamie, calm down."

"Dinna tell me t' calm down!" his accent was noticeably thicker when he was stressed or agitated. "I dinna want Brian MacKenzie around her when she's this vulnerable."

"What's wrong with Brian? I've never known him to be anything but respectful. He brought Claire back to her when she'd wandered off, others would have left her out there till Maggie went insane and Claire starved to death. He's a groom, for God's sake! What do you think he's going to do to her?"

"I dinna ken, but I don't trust him."

Bridget rolled her eyes, and put her hand on Jamie's cheek. "What happened, Jamie? I don't understand why you're so suspicious of him now. He's nothing but respectful to everyone on the farm, Alex and Carol included."

Jamie shook his head. "I don't know. I guess it's because she's so vulnerable right now. She's got the babies, and she doesna have their father."

"And so much the better for her!" Bridget's voice had now taken on a pleading edge. "If she's agreeable, why not see where it goes for her? What if things do work and they end up together? Is that such a bad thing?"

Bridget had rendered him speechless.

Just as the two of them paused for breath, Jamie looked in the window to see Brian gently run a fingertip down Maggie's cheek. Resisting the urge to go back into the house and deck him in the face, he resorted to casting a dirty look at the groomsman as he walked past.

"That wasn't necessary," Bridget hissed at him.

"Aye, it was. He kens what I meant."

"Judging from that look he gave you in return, I don't think he does. You've got no reason to hate him, he's done nothing to deserve that. God Almighty, you drive me up the goddamned wall, sometimes! Lord knows why I love you."

She saw Jamie chuckle.

"Alright you clown, you're not to go interfering. Maggie's still inside."

Upon reappearing, Maggie's eyes seemed glassy, shining with tears. But, she was smiling. Jamie had yet to see her smile since she'd been back.

"You're alright, _gael_?"

"Yes Uncle, I'm fine. Auntie, I have a thing to ask ye."

"Yes?"

"Before I lost it, which I'm that sorry for by the way, you said I'm scared o' summat. But I dinna ken what I'm t' be scared of."

"I think you're scared you could be in love with him."

Both women saw Jamie's mouth drop open. "They barely ken each other though!"

"So? I was in love with you three days after we started traveling with the Doctor."

"Three days?"

"Oh yeah, three days, but I fought it tooth and nail, didn't I? How many times did I have to push you away before I finally accepted that I belonged with you? I count at least five."

Well he couldn't argue with that.

They were interrupted by a high pitched squeal, followed very shortly by a whimper.

"Oh Lord, if one goes, the other is right after, isn't it?" Taking a deep breath, she went into Jamie and Bridget's bedroom, where both Ian and Claire were settled in the bed, surrounded by pillows to keep them from rolling. Ian's eyes were wide open, arms waving, while Claire thrashed, clearly unhappy with the fact that she needed a fresh diaper.

"Hi Buggy," she cooed to Claire, scooping her into her arms before reaching down and scooping Ian on to her hip. "Hello to you too, handsome." Kissing her children, she brought them out to Jamie and Bridget, who had now been joined by Alex and Carol, who had just come in from their school day.

"Maggie!" Carol went over and hugged her cousin around the waist. "You have babies?"

"Yes love, I have babies. I forgot you haven't seen me since I went traveling. Just so happens I brought back two surprises."

"What are their names? What are their names?" the seven-year-old could barely contain her excitement. Playing with Alex and other kids who were older than her quickly lost its appeal when they really don't want you around. Plus, she had a natural motherly instinct. Bridget had told her she'd been carrying her dolls around like she was caring for a baby, dressing the one doll in a cloth to simulate a diaper and feeding her imaginary spoonfuls of food at the dinner table. So, all things being equal, she'd be quite curious about her older cousin's babies.

"This one is Ian," she gently jostled him on her hip. "And this wee monkey is Claire."

"How old are they?"

"They're both nearly 7 months."

"But they're so little!"

"I know, but you were that small once too. Okay, okay, we're going!" they were interrupted by Claire's wailing that seemed to be coinciding with beginning of the Apocalypse if she didn't get a fresh diaper immediately. "Auntie, would you keep Ian entertained while I go change Claire?"

"Of course, come on sweetheart…" she took Ian from Maggie and settled him on her hip. "Oh, you do spend a lot of time going from hip to hip don't you?"

"Can I hold Ian, Maggie?" Carol called after her.

"Aye, just make sure your mum is there with you!" she called over her shoulder.

"Mum, Maggie says I can."

"Fine, but you need to sit down."

"Mummy…"

"Sit!" the gentle force in her voice made Carol obey immediately. "Good. Now, he can hold his head up fine, so just hold him under the armpits gently, and he'll sit on your lap." She positioned Ian with Carol as she explained what she was doing. "There, see? You're holding a baby."

Carol looked from Ian to Bridget. "I've never held a baby before, Mum… he's so soft."

"Yeah, babies don't have much muscle yet, they're still very soft and squishy," Bridget answered. It wasn't the best way to describe a baby's physiology, but for a seven year old growing up in the 18th century, it would do.

"But… I'm afraid I'm going to hurt him," Carol looked at her mother with worried eyes.

"No you're not. Look, he's smiling at you, honey."

And sure enough, Ian's big, gummy smile met Carol's shocked expression. "Oooh, he is! Mummy, he is! He's smiling at me!"

"And just wait till he pisses on ye!" Eleven-year-old Alex came in from outside and went rummaging into the pantry for a snack.

"Hush your mouth, Alexander McCrimmon!" Bridget shouted over her shoulder. "Your sister's doing a fine job. You'll do well to watch and learn."

"Aw Mum! I don't need to learn anything about screaming babies."

"Do you see him screaming at all? He's quite happy with her. Perhaps you could look after the bairns once in a while so yer cousin can get some rest." Jamie could practically see the vein in Alex's neck throbbing. "And mind what yer mother says. I ought t' slap ye in the mouth for disrespecting her."

"I wasna disrespecting Mum, Dad, I swear it," Alex took a bite of biscuit and swallowed before answering. "I just dinna think I should be worrying about babies when I don't have to."

"Alright, but ye watch yerself, aye?" It wasn't a threat, but a promise.

Long story short, Bridget recognized that sentence as the proverbial "I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it, so mind what I say or I'll be forced to do it." Many parents used that same sentence, and she'd been forced to use it many a time with both Alex and Carol.

Almost nine years into their marriage, both Jamie and Bridget were somewhat amazed that Alex had never asked about Georgia, his biological mother. Of course, in case he ever did, they had a story ready to explain it to him. They'd never tell him that she'd had no interest in him from the moment he was born, they'd never tell him that Jamie had basically been a single father until Bridget had come into his life, but they would tell him that both he and Bridget loved him (and Carol) more than life itself.

She could only hope Maggie had a similar story for Ian and Claire when they got older, in case her earlier suggestion didn't appeal to Maggie after all.

**ooOoo**

Brian couldn't help but notice the look Jamie had given him as he made his way out of their home just after speaking with Maggie. If he wasn't mistaken, that was a look of pure malice. In truth, he didn't mean Maggie any harm. He simply wanted to get to know her better, and see how everything turned out.

He didn't care that she had two children. He knew they were a package deal, and they needed their mother, he would not take her away from them. If things did not work out romantically between himself and Maggie, he would still care for them as though they were his own.

Maggie had said he needed to convince Jamie and Bridget before she would even consider his offer to court her, but he'd not realized how difficult that would be before now.

God help him, what had he gotten himself into?


	4. Speeding Cars

**ninewood: He's never asked because he doesn't remember her. Eventually, he'll ask, but not yet. One traumatic event at a time is all they can handle right now. Thank you so much for all your help and support with this story. I really do appreciate it. **

**A/N: In which much is revealed about what happened between Maggie (whose bad grammar reflects her desperation) and John, a reference to drugs (very minor but essential) and some cute family fun with the twins. Enjoy, and please feel free to leave a review, the door is always open.**

**ooOoo**

_Here's the day you hoped would never come. Don't feed me violins, just run with me through rows of speeding cars. The paper cuts, the cheating lovers, the coffee's never strong enough. I know you think it's more than just bad luck. There, there baby, it's just textbook stuff, it's in the ABC of growing up. Now, now darling, oh don't lose your head, cause none of us were angels, and you know I love you, yeah._

_Speeding Cars- Imogen Heap_

**ooOoo**

Maggie had no idea what time it was when she went to sit outside on the bench by the front door. It was damn cold out, but at that point she didn't care. She just wanted some time to herself. Jamie and Bridget had invited her to stay with them for a few days, and she had gratefully accepted. As a result, the twins were asleep in the empty bedroom in Carol's old bassinet, Alex and Carol were asleep in their own rooms, and she could only hope Jamie and Bridget were asleep as well.

Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a cigarette and stuck it in her mouth. Fishing into her pocket once more, she realized she had no matches. Great. Perfect. What was she supposed to do now?

Sitting on the stoop, she rested her chin in her palm, listening to the sounds of the night. It was unusually calm, like the calm before a really big storm, and surprisingly, it was really very nice. It was certainly a nice break from screaming babies at any rate.

At precisely that moment, she heard the front door open and someone sit down beside her. Looking over, she saw Jamie wrapped in his plaid, staring at her.

"Have ye got matches, Uncle?"

Jamie fumbled in his plaid and found one. Striking it against the nearest rock, he held it to the end of Maggie's cigarette and waited till it caught. Shaking the match until it extinguished, he watched as Maggie drew in a breath of smoke and exhaled.

"Why do ye smoke those things? Ye want t' kill yerself faster?"

"I started after things went downhill with the twins' dad. It was all I could do to keep myself sane. Don't worry about it, Uncle. It's not even tobacco."

As though that justified the act itself.

"It's not a spliff then?"

Maggie looked at him with shocked eyes, nearly dropping her cigarette into the folds of her skirt.

"How in the hell do ye know what a spliff is?"

"Your Auntie used t' smoke it long before she met me. She told me. Hang on, how do _you _ken what a spliff is?"

Maggie snorted out a laugh. "Yer forgetting I lived with the kids' dad in the 1970s for more than two years, Uncle. Everyone and his brother was flying higher than a kite half the time. I wasna surprised people offered it to me."

"Did _you_ take it?"

"What, do ye think I'm stupid?" Maggie tapped the ash off the end of her cigarette and took another drag. "I never did. The kids mean more t' me than that. Anyway, long story short, no, this is not a spliff. It's dry leaves. Tried the tobacco once, didna care for it."

"And yet yer still smoking."

"Says the man who hasna had any sex for at least a week and a half."

Jamie's mouth dropped open.

"Point the finger, I'll point back," Maggie answered him.

"And when was the last time you had any sex?" he challenged.

"Fuck off," she took another drag on her cigarette. "I haven't seen their dad in more than a month, since before I came back. I want nowt t' do with him, and he wants nowt t' do with me or the kids. He called them mistakes. How the fuck do ye call yer own children mistakes?" there were tears in her eyes now, her cigarette dangling between her fingers, forgotten.

She quickly put her hand over her eyes, shielding Jamie's view.

"I mean, they didna ask t' be born. I could have slipped them, aye? But I didn't. And I didn't do that because I loved them from the first moment I knew I were knocked up. I wanted them more than anything else in the entire world. And for that…" she pointed into the dark at nothing in particular. "And for that _bastard_ to call them mistakes, he doesna deserve them."

Jamie said nothing as she pulled on her cigarette again.

"And do ye know the reason why I havena had sex in a while, Uncle? Hmm?"

He shook his head.

"Because I'm fat!" she lamented. "My midwife told me I couldna have sex for about six weeks, aye? Because after pushing out twins I was just too bruised and stuff. So what does the stupid fucker do? He goes out and starts banging everything that walks wi' a wiggle. Anyone who wasna me!"

She saw Jamie's fists clench, sure she'd heard him say that if she were fat, then he was the King of England, or some such.

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and stubbed the cigarette out in the dirt.

"Anyway, good riddance to bad rubbish. The kids don't need him, and neither do I."

Jamie nodded, and brought Maggie to him in a tight hug.

"You're doing well, _gael,_ and I'm glad you're home."

She smiled as he kissed her temple.

"Oh, and another thing, it's a good one, I swear. Brian MacKenzie is going to come to you and Auntie and ask permission t' court me."

She could feel him tense as he held her against the cold, wrapping her in his plaid.

"And I want ye to say yes."

Jamie chuckled. "And if both me and yer auntie do? What happens then?"

"I told him that if he convinces ye, I'll consider the offer."

She saw him smile. "Aye, you're a McCrimmon all right. Sly as a fox, but smarter than any one of them put together. I see the game you're playing here, but I hope to God it doesn't backfire."

"I sincerely doubt it will, Uncle. Besides, it's not as though I want t' marry him."

"So ye just want to shag him then?"

"Good Lord, you make me sound like a sex starved maniac." Maggie tried desperately to suppress a laugh, and failed. "No, in all honesty, I just want him to kiss me."

Jamie's mouth dropped open. "Oh lassie, off to bed with you now. You'll end up doing something you'll regret if you're out here much longer."

"Uncle, I love that you're so protective. But I'm not a child. You can't order me to go to bed. There are some nights I'm up with the babies every hour."

"Which is why ye should be sleeping now. When Alex and Carol were first born I dinna get any sleep. I was never more cranky in m' life, Alex especially. He never stopped crying. Not that Ian and Claire aren't good children, but ye need to sleep just as much as they do."

Even in her sleep deprived state, she couldn't argue with that logic.

"Fine, best to sleep and I'll feel better in the morning, I suppose…"

A few seconds later, she realized that it wasn't just men who had the worse timing in all the universe, it was also babies who shared that trait. Just as she came in the door, the twins stirred.

She groaned as Jamie put a hand on her shoulder.

"Once they're fed and changed, lass, your auntie and I can take them for the night if you wish it."

Maggie managed a smile, and set to changing Ian and Claire, and bringing first Ian, then Claire to her breast. At this point, Jamie slid away to his own bedroom, as he figured he should not be watching his niece breast feed her babies. He'd seen Bridget do it many times before, but that was different. Carol was his daughter taking nourishment from Bridget, who was his wife. Maggie was his niece, her children his great-niece and nephew. No, the circumstances were completely different. Instead, he'd briefly rouse Bridget and tell her they were caring for the babies tonight, to give Maggie a break.

Around a half hour later, he returned to Maggie's bedroom and rapped smartly on the door.

"Maggie, do you wish me and your auntie to take the children for the night?"

"Uncle, if it were possible, I love you even more," she told him as she transferred one baby and then the other to Jamie's waiting arms. "They're both sound asleep now. I wish you three joy of one another."

And with that, she watched as Jamie carried the twins back into his and Bridget's bedroom, and shut her own door behind her. Without another word, she fell into bed, not even sure if she would dream.

**ooOoo**

Maggie awoke the next morning to Bridget singing to the twins in the kitchen, Alex and Carol finishing their breakfasts before heading off to school.

"Mind your home for lunch, understand?"

"Yes Mum," Carol took another bite of bread and jam.

"I don't see why we can't take our lunches to school with us," Alex challenged.

"I can't pack lunches for everyone, you know," Bridget answered. "We're fairly well off, for what it's worth in the Highlands. Potato soup is difficult enough to transport even with a thermos, never mind in a pewter bowl." She cleared away the breakfast plates, not taking notice of Maggie standing in the doorway from the bedrooms to the kitchens. "I like that you share what you have, but twenty different lunches is stretching it a bit, even for the Highlands here. So, until things get better, and they will, you come home for lunches."

"What's a thermos?" her son asked, one eyebrow raised.

Was that really the only thing he'd heard in the entire speech?

"Never mind, I'm just talking nonsense again."

Alex rolled his eyes, finished his milk, and grabbed his books.

"Gotta go," he reached up and kissed Bridget's cheek before heading for the door. "Love you."

Carol followed suit, chasing after Alex, shouting "Wait for me! Alex, wait!"

"Hold on for your sister!" Bridget called out the door. "Keep an eye on each other while walking!"

"Yes Mum!" The two children called back, Carol holding Alex's free hand.

Sighing, Bridget turned her attention to the children, who were sitting in hand carved highchairs Jamie and Gordon had carved as soon as Maggie arrived home.

"Well now, where's your mummy?"

"Good morning Auntie," Maggie decided it was better to play along with the game Bridget was starting, to see how the twins would react.

Bridget gasped again in mock surprise. "Good morning Mummy. Can you say good morning, Mummy?"

Both Ian and Claire babbled a response, which she was sure sounded much more like Dada.

"Oh, that's not Daddy, that's Mummy. Say good morning Mummy."

At this point, Claire raised her voice, to the point of it sounding as though she'd shouted Mama.

"Good girl, give Auntie a kiss for being so smart." Bridget leaned in and waited as Claire planted an open mouth kiss on her own mouth. "Yay, Auntie got kisses. Ian, can Auntie have a kiss?"

He sat stoney-faced, staring at her.

"Ian? Can Auntie have a kiss?"

Ian gave Bridget a smirk, and blew a wet raspberry at her.

"Gob on you!" Bridget's eyes went wide. "My goodness, aren't you a rude little one?"

The young boy giggled.

"Mummy, you'll have to do something about that," Bridget playfully scolded Maggie. "Surely he didn't get that from you."

"No, that's from his dad. And I hope to God I can teach him to use that energy constructively. I can already tell he's going to need regular swatches to the behind, but only when he deserves it."

"And Claire?"

"She'll get the same, and for both of them only if it's warranted."

"Very wise, my dear," Bridget smiled. "You're going to do fine. And remember that you've always got me and your uncle, should you need us."

"I know, but I don't want to be relying on you guys and Mum and Dad for everything. If I couldn't provide for them I shouldn't have kept them."

"But what you didn't plan on was having to become a single parent overnight," Bridget reasoned. "There's not much you can do in that case. It's alright to ask for help, you know. It doesn't make you a bad mother."

"Does it make me a bad mother if I want to date?"


	5. Harder to Breathe

**ninewood: Oh yes, I suppose Benton has a nice big bump on the head by now. He deserves it at any rate, especially once we see what actually happened between them. He's not actually ASKED them yet, but we'll see what happens (smiles). Thank you so much for your review.**

**A/N: In which we learn EXACTLY how Maggie found out about what John had been up to, and what John has been dreaming about. No warnings, just enjoy the chapter. And please feel free to leave a review, the door is always open.**

**ooOoo**

_How dare you say that my behaviour's unacceptable? So condescending, unnecessary critical. I have the tendency of getting very physical, so watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle. You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here, the double vision I was seeing is finally clear. You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone. Not fit to fucking tread the ground that I am walking on._

_Harder to Breathe- Maroon 5_

**ooOoo**

John Benton woke up alone in his bed once again. Everything seemed less complicated and clear now that Maggie had left, and taken the children with her. While he'd said all those horrible things, he'd only wanted to hurt her, to make her feel worthless.

As if he hadn't done that already.

He'd slept with seven or eight other women, he couldn't remember the exact number, but they'd meant nothing to him. Really, they hadn't, but why hadn't she seen that? Why hadn't she understood that he loved her?

_But wait a minute_, said that small voice in the back of his head that begged reason. _That's not love. If you love someone, you don't run around on them. You don't take even_ one _other into your bed, let alone seven or eight. That's not love, that's taking advantage of someone. _

Shut up Brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip.

He could still see her in his mind's eye, how her hair would fall from it's clip and into his face when she rode him in the firelight, the flood from between her legs soaking the bed sheets almost every time they made love, how her eyes sparkled when she spoke, her infectious smile, how her skin glowed as her belly swelled, her nipples turning dark and her body arching toward him, begging him to ravish her, even when she was heavily pregnant…

He could still see it all, and damn him to hell, he'd thrown her, and their children, away like pieces of garbage.

There were still times he'd dream of her. He'd dream he was making love to her, and wake in the morning with his arms around the spare pillow, his own wet with tears. Other times he'd wake to face an unfamiliar woman, and swear he was looking at Maggie. They all looked like her, he knew. The same hair, the same eyes, although he always took care that none would end up pregnant. Sweet Jesus, he would not let that happen.

What had he done?

**ooOoo**

Maggie went toward the barn, a packed lunch in her hands. She doubted the stable lads would be getting enough food for all the work they did. Though she knew Bridget would never intentionally deprive her workers of food, there was little to go around, and what little there was had to stretch between the family, the cook, the washerwoman, Maggie, Ian, and Claire, and then the stable hands. When it comes to who gets what and when, family is always first. That's how it was.

Going into the barn, she saw Brian grooming Calman gael, Jamie's prize mare. She must have really been getting on in years by now. And how many times had she foaled? Ten? Twelve? No matter if you're a work animal or human, that's a lot of stress to put on a body. She was still that brilliant shade, certainly earning her name, the White Dove.

"Brian?"

He looked up from his work on the horse's hoof, his bangs flopping over his eyes as he smiled.

"Ah, so it's Rag Tag come to grace us with her presence!"

She cringed. For whatever reason, he'd taken to calling her 'Rag Tag Mags', often shortened to 'Rag Tag', as though he'd known her all her life, and her falling pregnant had just been an unfortunate accident. Truth be told she could not stand the nickname, but he was so damned sweet and charming there was no way she could be mad at him for it.

"I, uh, brought you guys lunch. Thought you might be hungry."

"Aye, I'm so famished I could eat this beauty here," she put a hand on the mare's rump and got her to put her foot back down. "But horse meat is damn tough and no verra tasty. Whatcha bring us?"

She unwrapped the terry cloth and handed him some of the hare pie Bridget had made earlier that day. It wasn't much more than rabbit meat cooked in a pie shell with some good port and onions with whatever spices they could find.

"Ah, I think I've not had hare pie in a long time. Cheers!" he took the terry cloth from her and split the remainder with the rest of the men in the barn. Turning back to her, he very gently, and cautiously, kissed her, just light enough for her nerves to stand on end, but not enough to make her lose her wits completely. "Oh, by the way," he whispered to her, "I plan t' ask Jamie and Bridget tonight."

"Aye, be sure ye do," her accent grew quite thick when she was around him. "Because I want you. The sooner you ask them, the better."

Brian saw her grin broadly.

"And what I want," she bit his lip lightly in both retaliation and invitation, "I get. By any means possible. Ye ken?"

He felt his eyes grow wide. Definitely not used to someone being so bold and brash, he seemed almost struck dumb. Wherever she'd been, and whomever she'd been with before had to have taught her something good.

"Aye, I ken," he managed, leaning to kiss her again.

She put a finger to his lips, stopping him quickly. "No, I don't think so."

As she walked away promising more if he convinced both Jamie and Bridget by the time people went down to sleep, she couldn't help but wonder if Brian would follow through on his word. There was no way he was afraid of either Jamie or Bridget, but he did respect them.

Oh Lord, what if they said no?

What?

_Snap out of it, damn you!_ She scolded herself, rubbing her eye. _You're acting like a love-struck teenager._

Love struck teenager or not, she still could not keep her mind off of Brian MacKenzie. And, in truth, she did want him. Badly. But would he have her, even if she would not marry him? Of course, even if one has a conscience in regards to these things, one's cock never does. She would bet her life that a woman's pudendum was just the same.

However, where men lacked enough blood to operate both brain and favourite appendage at the same time, women definitely had enough. For them, it was just a question of multitasking. In fact, she was so uncomfortable by the time she was eight months pregnant she'd stopped sleeping with John altogether, fellatio and mutual masturbation notwithstanding. Her belly was so big there was absolutely nothing that either of them could do to ease the discomfort. Instead, masturbation became the game of choice for them. While finding new ways to give both herself and John pleasure without actually having to take him inside herself, she also found herself thinking of how much laundry still needed to be done, or some other mundane task.

That was even more so after Ian Ross and Claire Lorraine made their appearance on May 28th, 1971, Ian being born eight minutes before his sister. It was a quick delivery without pain medication; she'd torn her vaginal wall, requiring stitches, with strict orders to abstain from sex for approximately six weeks.

It was just as well, anyway. With both babies up all night, screaming and crying with no hope of being soothed, constant feedings, and endless diaper changes, Maggie had given no thought toward sex. Plus, things between herself and John seemed more strained than before. He'd never been so overt as to come home with lipstick on his collar, but there are only so many times someone could 'work late'. She understood that with UNIT it was not uncommon for them to be out of touch for days, sometimes weeks at a time, but the amount of time John spent at home proportionate to the amount of time he was 'working late' just did not add up.

And when he'd confessed to her after gentle prodding, he'd been completely unapologetic. Not so much as an 'I'm sorry', just a statement of fact.

"How many?" she'd asked.

He looked down at his combat boots, biting the inside of his cheek.

"John! How many? Just tell me."

It was then she heard the number seven or eight come out of his mouth.

Without even thinking, she raised her hand and landed it on his cheek.

"Fuck you," she growled.

She balled her fist and landed it in his chest.

"Damn you to hell, John Benton!" she shouted. "God damn you to Hell!"

God, how she wanted to kill him. Wrap her arm around his throat, squeeze the very breath out of him, or take a kitchen knife and gut him, or some other completely disgusting way of killing him.

But no, she wouldn't do that. She couldn't risk it.

She did, however, know how to hurt him in the worst way possible, and she would do it.

"I'm leaving," she set her jaw and grabbed two bags. One for her, one for the twins. "And I'm taking the kids. You will never see them again."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not telling you, and so you'll never find us."

"Maggie…" he reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Don't fucking touch me!" she shouted, yanking her arm out of his grip. "You're scum, John Benton. I trusted you, I gave you two children, I've kept a home for you, I gave you everything I could, and _this_ is what you say to me? That you've had seven or eight other women to your bed?"

Why the hell couldn't she cry?

And why didn't he have an explanation?

"Goodbye John, you will never see us again."

With that, she'd called the Doctor, who had agreed to take her back home, and here she'd remained. She had plenty of support, from Jamie and Bridget as well as her parents, and still she felt so alone.

For all intents and purposes, she hoped John Benton was writhing in his sleep, wondering how Ian and Claire were growing up without him.

**ooOoo**

"No Sergeant, I am not going to tell you where she is," the Doctor stepped into his TARDIS and shut the door behind them. Sergeant Benton had asked if they could talk simply and privately, the TARDIS seemed the best place for that. However, he had not been expecting Benton to ask _this_ of him.

"Come on, Doctor. Can't you see I'm worried for them? I've barely slept since she left."

"She wouldn't have left if you hadn't deserved it. She loved you dearly."

"You have no idea what happened between Maggie and I."

The Doctor shot him a dirty look. "You're right, I don't, and it's not my business to know. Whatever it was, it's over, and she's settled. She's not in any danger, and neither are the children."

"They're my children as well, you know."

"That may be, but it doesn't seem as though you acted much like a father, if you'll pardon my saying so."

He most certainly would not, and had no objection saying such.

"Don't try me, Sergeant Benton," the Doctor's voice lowered to an almost dangerous level, threatening violence if necessary. "You may question me all you like, but I will not tell you where they are. Perhaps you should go see if the Brigadier needs you for something, there's a good chap."

And with that, the Doctor opened the doors, and Sergeant Benton left without a fuss. Ever a soldier, he could recognize a lost cause when he saw one.

If he had to endure until his death without her, then that was his penance, for what it was worth.

But he wasn't about to let that happen. He'd find her, if only to apologize, even if he had to hijack the TARDIS himself.

**ooOoo**

Maggie sat on the floor with the twins, who were now crawling faster than she thought possible. Perhaps they were looking for a ledge to pull themselves up on. Around seven to eight months, they should be starting to pull up and stand, and within a few more months, taking their first steps.

"That's it, good…" she coaxed Ian toward her, Claire asleep on the floor, tuckered out from trying to stand herself only an hour earlier. "Good job, baby boy. You can do it…"

Ian babbled at her, smiling.

"I know, I know, you're doing fine. You can do it."

He crawled to the edge of the couch, and, very tentatively, pulled himself up.

"Yay!" Maggie clapped her hands in praise. "You did it, Ian! Good boy! Kisses for Mummy's big boy!" She bent down and kissed him on the mouth.

The baby giggled, let go of the couch, and fell right on his bum.

More from shock than anything else, he cried out, looking to his mother for comfort.

"Oh, it's okay," she soothed, picking him up and cradling him. "It's okay, you're alright. Mummy's here. Mummy's so proud of her big boy, standing up all by himself!"

Jamie came in to see Maggie sitting on the floor with Claire asleep and Ian babbling at her.

With a quick glance over her shoulder, she saw him leaning in the doorway.

"Nunkie, you'll never guess," she had an exaggerated smile on her face, letting Jamie know she was about to tell him something in relation to the twins. She always did that when she had good news.

"I won't?" he decided to play along.

"Ian pulled himself up to stand without any help at all!" she spoke to Ian as she would, directing the words to Jamie.

"That's verra good news indeed!" there was a hint of aggravation in his voice at the same time, although she couldn't place why.

"What's troubling you?" she asked, setting Ian back down to crawl, perhaps to sleep next to his sister.

"Brian MacKenzie came to me outside."


	6. Half Life

**ninewood: I know you were anxious for this chapter, and here it is! Thank you so much for all your help with it, I really appreciate it.**

**A/N: New wrinkle in the plot, and someone returns. Wonder who it could be. Enjoy, and please feel free to leave a review, the door is always open.**

**ooOoo**

_Afternoon… I fell asleep in the living room. It's one of those moments, where everything is so clear. Before the truth goes back into hiding, I wanna decide cause it's worth deciding, to work on finding, something more than fear._

_Half-Life- Duncan Shiek_

**ooOoo**

"I can't honestly say I'm shocked. He does work for ye, after all," she reasoned, standing up and keeping an eye on both Claire and Ian. Neither were giving her any trouble at the moment, just playing quietly and sleeping. "What did he want?"

"He asked me if he could speak with me in a bit."

"Well that's alright, isn't it?" she asked, wiping her hands on her skirt. "Do you know what it's about?"

"I think it may have summat to do with you."

"I told you it might, don't you remember?" she went to the table and sat down. "I said he might ask ye if he could court me, and that I wanted you to say yes."

"I think I should not do so," he answered.

"And why not?"

"I think it's not the right decision for you at this point."

"And who are you to make decisions for me?" she interrupted, one fist curling. "I'm a big girl, Uncle, I've got kids. You know I'd never do anything to put them in danger. Why are you so scared that Brian might do something horrible?"

"He's a man, sweetie…"

"So?"

At that point they heard the distinctive noise of a horse quickly approaching, a government official riding atop.

For what it was worth, the Scottish government had been absolutely decimated by the Jacobite Rising in 1745. Since Culloden had been such a spectacular failure, there was no 'official' government to speak of, just those specific few who thought they knew best. And those who thought to speak up ultimately ended up dead, often through very gruesome means. Eventually, those who were left just learned to let it be.

Still, Maggie clung to Jamie's arm with more force than he thought she possessed as the official came closer.

"Sir," the man dismounted and bowed gracefully to Jamie.

"Can I be helping ye at all?"

"I'm looking for a Gordon Chisholm," he answered. "Would you be knowing him?"

Jamie's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Tell me your name then, sir," he insisted. "For I will not tell you what you want to know if I do not know you."

"My name is William Olivier," he obliged.

"A Frenchman, are you? What the bloody fuck would you be doing out here? There's nowt here for you anymore."

"Language, sir, there is a lady present." Olivier looked scandalized. He'd known that Highlanders were brutes, but such strong, unbecoming language in front of a lady, no less.

"She's my niece, Mr. Olivier. I can guarantee you she's heard a hell of a lot worse than that. In fact, I could also guarantee you she uses language stronger than that at any rate. But that's besides the point. What are you wanting with Gordon Chisholm?"

Olivier unfolded a piece of paper from his pocket.

"I have here in my hand an arrest warrant for a Mr. Gordon Chisholm on the dastardly crime of murder."

Maggie's eyes went wide.

"Murder? There's no way! Of whom?"

"Of a man."

"It is not becoming to withhold information in this way, Olivier, which man?" Jamie pressed. If his brother-in-law were being charged, he'd damn well know now, in hopes of perhaps helping him escape.

"Robert Campbell, aged six-and-twenty."

Maggie's mouth dropped, Jamie's grip on her arm the only thing keeping her from fainting.

"Maggie," she heard Jamie's voice through the fog in her head. "Go to the house, aye?"

He didn't need to tell her anything else. She turned and, calmly as she could, made her way back toward her own home, which was less than a mile from Jamie and Bridget's own home. Surely Bridget wouldn't mind looking after the twins, at least until this Olivier character disappeared.

Bursting in the door, she saw her mother sorting through the kitchen supplies.

"Where's Da?"

"He's outside, just about to come in. Why? What's amiss?"

"He's got to leave now."

"I don't understand, love. What's wrong?"

"There's someone outside who says he killed a man."

"That's ridiculous!"

"It's not ridiculous, Mum! If Uncle could do it, and I know he has, Da could do it too! Now I don't believe it, but that doesn't mean this Frenchman's gonna believe Da didn't do it. He's got t' go."

She heard something heavy drop, her father now insisting he should go immediately.

"Go to Ben."

"What?"

"Ben's a priest, aye? He can give ye sanctuary. Olivier wouldna dare trying t' arrest ye in a church or an abbey. Being a Catholic he'd be more worried about offending God. Go now, Da! Please!"

He nodded again. He was sure he'd never seen Cora or Maggie or the babies again, but it was all he could do. He'd never laid a hand on his wife, his children, or his tenants. However, Robert Campbell had tried to rape his daughter, and both Jamie and Bridget had dispensed justice for said crime. What could possibly lead anyone to believe he'd ever laid a hand on Robert Campbell of his own accord? And was the bugger actually dead?

No. No, the laird would have been well advised of someone dying, he'd not heard anything of the sort. Robbie Campbell was alive.

And he himself was being framed.

**ooOoo**

The Doctor stood in the TARDIS, still unhappy with Sergeant Benton. While he certainly did not know the entirely of what had transpired between Maggie and the Sergeant, she'd begged him not to tell him where they were going. He'd agreed to that condition, though he was reasonable sure the TARDIS herself was most displeased about it. She'd been rumbling all day, and from experience, that meant she'd take him where he was needed. Not necessarily where he wanted to go, at any rate.

Still, Benton wouldn't leave without at least attempting to extort Maggie's location from him.

"I still don't see why you continue to pester me, Sergeant. I've told you once I shall not tell you where they are. It was your own fault for what happened, and if she's not forgiven you, there's nothing you can do about it."

"Come on, Doctor. I have no idea what happened to them, or where Maggie and the twins are. How do I know they're safe?"

"Do you really believe Maggie would ever put Ian and Claire in danger?"

"No, of course not. I just don't understand why she would ever keep them from me."

"Is that really the way you see it?" the Doctor asked. "Now, as I've said before, I don't pretend to understand what actually happened between the two of you, but she asked me to keep quiet. And keep quiet I shall."

At the exact moment the Doctor finished talking, the TARDIS had evidently decided she had had enough of such childishness, and put them in flight.

**ooOoo**

_March 28, 1769_

_Leila Grey Mill (Jamie and Bridget's homestead)_

_Inverness, Scotland_

Maggie looked over from the twins shouting at her incoherently to see that little blue box show up.

"Brian!" she called, startling the twins into silence.

He came running from the back of house, eyes wide.

"What? What's amiss?"

"It's the Doctor!"

"Who?"

"The Doctor! I worked wi' him back when I was…" her own eyes went wide. "Oh Jesus Christ!"

Claire spit a raspberry at the swear, not so much objecting to the swear itself but the tone.

"Oh sorry, sweetie," Maggie kissed her daughter's soft cheek.

"MumMumMumMum," she babbled.

"Yes I know, Mum Mum," Maggie answered, smiling. "I'm your Mum Mum. Now, Mummy's got to go outside for a minute. You stay with your brother and Auntie, alright? Auntie will take care of you."

"MumMumMumMum."

Apparently everything was about Mum Mum today.

Taking a deep breath, she braced herself for the other person she knew was in the TARDIS. Not just the Doctor, but the one person she'd hoped, and, she was almost ashamed to admit, prayed, she'd never see again.

John Benton.

**ooOoo**

Maggie went out the door and waited as the TARDIS' front doors opened, the lanky figure of her ex-lover and father of her children striding toward her. He didn't look all that different, but in reality she hadn't been gone all that long. In John's timeline, they were well over 200 years apart, but it was four months from the time the Doctor had taken them until now.

She watched him closely, taking care to keep her face as blank as possible. She had not moved from the doorway, just she took the precaution of using the power of expression to obscure what she felt for the man who had suddenly reappeared.

She bit her tongue, fingernails digging into the skin of her palms, when she suddenly felt a hand grip her elbow.

"I'll go see what's amiss then, aye?"

A little dazed, she didn't realize who had offered until it was too late.

**ooOoo**

Whoever this person was, Brian was none too pleased to see him on Jamie's land. He'd had no need to swear an oath to the McCrimmon family, as there were no such things anymore, but seeing as Maggie, Claire, and Ian were his responsibility as much as they were her parents' and other family, he felt a little bit hostile himself. If he felt the man had violent intentions toward his family, or did something to upset the delicate balance they'd established at the Mill, no matter what, he'd gut the man cleanly and leave him to die.

As he approached the mysterious blue box Maggie had mentioned, the stranger came closer. He seemed calm, if a little bewildered, and no wonder. The stranger wore what looked like an English army uniform, but not one Brian had ever had cause to look closely at. And as Ian was growing into his own face, he couldn't help but notice the resemblance in the eyes, nose, and even the hair.

Dear God…

This man was the twins' father.

And now Brian faced a dilemma. Should he gut the man now, or allow Maggie to hear what he had to say by way of explanation?

Either way, he knew he could not forbid Maggie from doing as she liked, but he'd at least stall the man enough to hear whether she actually wanted to hear what he had to say.

"And who are you, sir?"

"I? I am the Doctor."

"Yes, I know who you are, thanks t' Maggie, but I meant you, sir. Who are you?" he pointed haphazardly to John.

"I am Sergeant John Benton."

Brian's eyebrow raised. What a name for a man who dressed as an soldier, when he looked every bit an English popinjay. What had Maggie ever seen in this man, if he could be called a man?

But she'd said he'd never laid violent hands to her, nor the children. And she'd never told him why she despised the man as much as she did.

"And why should that matter to me?"

"Look, where's Maggie? I need to talk to her."

"Uh uh, no. Ye'll not talk t' her without her mother present. Do you understand me?"

Brian saw Sergeant John Benton's mouth drop.

"Look, I don't know who you are, but this has nothing to do with you. This is between Maggie and I."

Brian slapped a hand into Sergeant Benton's chest, blocking his path.

"There is most definitely something I can do about it," with one hand still on Benton's chest, he drew his dirk and held it under the sergeant's ribs. "Do you know the cleanest way t' kill a man, especially one who comes onto your land with ill intentions?" He moved the dirk from Benton's ribs to his eye, allowing him to get a good look at the metal. "And I shall demonstrate it on you, should ye decide t' be a sodding hero. Do ye understand me?"

He saw John think better of fighting back, and held his hands up in surrender. "Fine. Fine. Just let me see Maggie, please. I just need to talk to her."

Brian stuck the dirk back in his belt. "I'll go see if she wants to speak t' you. And if she doesn't, ye leave."

John waited about ten minutes by the TARDIS with the Doctor (who was making a point of staying silent), and nearly fell over at the sight of Maggie, Brian, and a woman he could only assume to be her mother walking toward him.

The three of them stopped in front of him, arms crossed, and he, like an idiot, said the first thing that came to mind.

"Hello, Maggie."


End file.
